Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
10:23 pm
Fri August 3, 2012

Limericks

Originally published on Sat August 4, 2012 11:36 am

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait-Wait, that's 1-888-924-8924. You can click the contact us link on our website waitwait.npr.org.

There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago, and our upcoming shows in Atlanta on September 20th. And check out this week's How to do Everything podcast from the producers of WAIT WAIT. This week: Mike and Ian tell you how to give the best wedding toast ever.

Hi, you're on "Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me."

KYLE HAYS: Hi, Peter. This is Kyle Hays from Grand Rapids, Michigan.

SAGAL: Hey, Kyle, how are you?

HAYS: I'm doing great, Peter.

SAGAL: You sound so happy.

HAYS: You know, I'm excited to be on the show.

SAGAL: We're excited to have you.

HAYS: Thanks.

SAGAL: What do you do, Kyle?

HAYS: I work as a disability coordinator and academic counselor at Calvin College in Grand Rapids.

PAULA PELL: That's wonderful.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: That's awesome. Well, welcome to the show, Kyle. Carl Kasell is going to read you three news-related limericks, with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks - two of the limericks - you'll be a winner. Ready to play?

HAYS: Yeah, let's go.

SAGAL: Here is your first limerick.

CARL KASELL: Since my waistline is not my best trait, my intake I'd like to abate. When I spray this perfume, I no longer consume. It's a fragrance that helps me lose?

HAYS: Weight.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: French perfume house - yes, he got it right.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: French perfume house Robertet has introduced a new weight loss perfume called Prends Moi that helps you shed pounds by just by breathing in. You spray it on in the morning or, quote "when you feel the need for a snack." And they say the scent will suppress your appetite.

ADAM FELBER: There are many scents that do that.

SAGAL: I know.

(LAUGHTER)

FELBER: None of which are perfume.

SAGAL: Its base is used diaper with top notes of public transportation.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The name of the perfume, Prends Moi, translates to Take Me, as in take me to McDonald's I'm starving, and drinking this damn perfume didn't help.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your next limerick.

KASELL: In France, not just tourists conclude the French have a bad attitude. In our capitol city, the manners aren't pretty. We admit, the Parisians are?

HAYS: Rude.

SAGAL: Yes, very good.

(LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: The Paris city government is finally attempting to tackle the problem of Parisian rudeness through a series of Metro ads aimed at combating, quote, "uncivil behavior." The ads depict animals spitting on tracks, talking loudly into their cell phones and jumping turnstiles. Those are fine. People dig them. But they rebelled at a poster showing a French person giving an American the correct directions to the Eiffel Tower.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your last limerick.

KASELL: In post-pregnancy shape I'm no lady, but a trip to the gym is a maybe. So I'll just take my tot and lift him a lot. As a workout weight, give me my?

HAYS: Baby.

SAGAL: Yes.

(LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

CHARLIE PIERCE: Pumping toddlers.

SAGAL: According to the New York Daily News, new mothers are shedding excess baby weight by taking their babies to the gym and lifting them.

FELBER: What fun for the babies.

SAGAL: These are great exercise classes for the mother who loves spending time with their baby, and misses the part where someone was screaming at you, "Push. Push." Said one new mom, quote, "You can feel the burn. She's getting big, so it's getting harder. I feel it in my arms." If this trend continues, in about fifteen years look for insanely buff middle-aged women lifting up embarrassed teenagers.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Kyle do on our quiz?

KASELL: Very well, Peter. He had three correct answers. So Kyle, you win our prize.

SAGAL: Well done. Congratulations.

(APPLAUSE)

HAYS: Thanks, Peter. Thanks, Carl.

SAGAL: Thanks so much for playing, Kyle. Bye-bye.

HAYS: Yeah. See you later.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright National Public Radio.