In our fast paced society, our time is consumed with technology, work, and busy lifestyles.
We don’t seem to factor in enough time when it comes to grieving. Grieving occurs when we experience loss. The greater we value the loss, the more intense the grief. We choose to think of grief as something that can be managed and put into a neat and tidy package, but it doesn’t always follow our agenda. Some common myths about grieving include the following:
- Grief will go away if I choose to ignore it.
- I must be strong in the face of grief.
- Not crying means that the grief was not important.
- Grief only lasts about one year.
On the contrary, ignoring our grief can make it worse. Finding a way to face grief, feel grief and allow it to run its course is the only way to heal. Expressing grief can actually help you connect to others who may be grieving too. It takes strength to allow ourselves to feel grief. Grief doesn’t keep to a time schedule and is expressed differently in different people. You may experience highs and lows, sadness or anger, guilt, fear or even physical symptoms.
Connecting to other people is one of the keys to healing. If you don’t have a supportive network, find a pastor or counselor that can help. Pay attention to your needs and make time to care for yourself. Online resources may provide helpful tools in healing, such as www.helpguide.org.
Grief can be one of the most insightful teachers that you will ever experience it if you choose to walk through it.
This is Sheila Harrell with the Church Health Center.
www.helpguide.org/articles/grief-loss/coping-with-grief-and-loss.htm
www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/obstacles-to-grieving-topic-overview
If you have a question for Life Matters, send it tohealth@wkno.org