Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
2:50 am
Sat May 4, 2013

Lightning Fill In The Blank

Originally published on Sat May 4, 2013 10:56 am

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Carl, can you give us the scores?

CARL KASELL: Mo Rocca has the lead, Peter. He has four points. Paula Poundstone has three, Tom Bodett has one.

SAGAL: Very good. Tom, you're in third place, so you're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. Three college friends of Dzhokhar Tsarnaev were arrested for hiding evidence connecting him to the blank.

TOM BODETT: The Boston Marathon bombing.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, President Obama traveled to blank for trade talks.

BODETT: Mexico.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, construction crews put the final piece of the spire in place atop the building at the site of the blank.

BODETT: The World Trade Center.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Archaeologists announced this week that they found evidence showing settler at Jamestown were forced to resort to blank.

BODETT: Oh, eating each other.

SAGAL: Yeah, cannibalism.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A Florida man was arrested Sunday for calling 911 and blanking.

BODETT: Gosh, calling 911 and reporting himself.

SAGAL: No. He called 911 and asked for Kool-Aid, burgers and weed. And he did that 80 times.

(LAUGHTER)

BODETT: Could almost guess that with the Florida thing, yeah.

SAGAL: Turnout was high last weekend as high school kids at Wilcox County, Georgia held their first ever integrated blank.

BODETT: Prom.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Less than 48 hours after he was released by the New York Jets, blank received an offer to quarterback for the Omaha Beef of the Champion's Professional Indoor Football League.

BODETT: Oh, and I hope he does it. Tim Tebow.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Members of the Women's Institute in Britain...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...made an embarrassing mistake when they blanked in honor of their guest speaker, a Somali piracy victim.

BODETT: When the blanked in honor...

SAGAL: Of their speaker, a victim of Somali pirates.

BODETT: When they - I have no idea.

SAGAL: When they dressed up as pirates.

BODETT: Oh.

(SOUNDBITE OF AHS)

SAGAL: The women heard they had a speaker coming to talk about pirates, so they went all out to make him feel welcome. Eye patches and hooks for hands and parrots on their shoulders. It turns out maybe not so appropriate for their speaker, a former hostage of Somali pirates.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All was fine, though. The ladies switched into their Somali pirate costumes and held him hostage until someone paid them $2 million. Carl, how did Tom do in our quiz?

KASELL: Tom had six correct answers for 12 more points. He now has 13 points and Tom has taken the lead.

SAGAL: Well done. All right.

(APPLAUSE)

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Nice.

BODETT: Yeah.

SAGAL: Paula, you're up next.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

SAGAL: Fill in the blank. A Mississippi martial arts teacher was arrested this week for sending blank to President Obama and others.

POUNDSTONE: Racin or...

SAGAL: Ricin, yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Administration officials said this week that President Obama is considering sending weapons to the rebels in blank.

POUNDSTONE: Syria.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: For the first time since resigning and leaving for Castle Gandolfo, blank returned to the Vatican.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, the old pope.

SAGAL: Yes.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: What was his name?

POUNDSTONE: What was his name? I just called him pope.

SAGAL: Yeah, I understand.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It was Benedict.

POUNDSTONE: Pope - sure, Pope Benedict.

SAGAL: Yeah. Sherpas and climbers have come to a truce after the first known fight broke out this week on blank.

POUNDSTONE: The top of Mount Everest.

SAGAL: Isn't it crazy?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A British supermarket chain recalled bags of nuts from 29 stores because the label did not include the warning blank.

POUNDSTONE: Includes nuts.

SAGAL: Exactly right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Rapper Chris Kelly, best known as half of the kid rap group blank died Thursday at the age of 34.

POUNDSTONE: Kriss Kross.

SAGAL: Yes, Kriss Kross.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A team of New York entrepreneurs are hoping to capitalize on the Hooters' business model...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...by opening the city's first blank.

POUNDSTONE: Bar/sperm bank.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: No, you know what, just...

SAGAL: No. The city's first...

POUNDSTONE: ...two birds with one stone, that's what I say.

SAGAL: Right. The City's first sexy shoe shine.

POUNDSTONE: Oh.

SAGAL: If you love the tasteless exploitation of Hooters and the antebellum exploitation of a good shoe shine, you'll love Star Shine NYC, the world's first sexy shoe shine service. Say that four times fast. For just $7, a young lady in short shorts and a tank top will put a shine on your loafers, a spring in your step and a stain on your dignity.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: I'll tell you what, boy.

SAGAL: Carl, how did Paula do on our quiz?

KASELL: Paula had five correct answers for 10 more points. She is now tied for first place with Tom Bodett. Each has 13 points.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: OK. So how many then does Mo Rocca need to win?

KASELL: Five correct answers.

SAGAL: Five, indeed. All right, Mo. This is for the game.

MO ROCCA: Yes.

SAGAL: On Tuesday, President Obama said he would renew his efforts to close the prison camp at blank.

ROCCA: Guantanamo Bay.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After the factory collapsed last week, Pope Francis condemned the work conditions for the victims in blank.

ROCCA: Bangladesh.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: With Queen Beatrix's abdication on Tuesday, blank crowned their first king in more than a century.

ROCCA: The Netherlands.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Billionaire Warren Buffet gained 1,000 followers a minute Thursday after joining blank.

ROCCA: Twitter.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A man found with crack cocaine in his pants pockets said that not only was the drugs not his, but blank.

ROCCA: The pants were not his.

SAGAL: Yes, exactly.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: What are they doing on me?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: With 13 nominations this week, the musical Kinky Boots is the front runner in this year's blank awards.

ROCCA: The Antoinette Perry Awards.

SAGAL: Oh, show off.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: Extra point.

SAGAL: After putting up a profile on Match.com, blank has received over 1,000 e-mails in response.

ROCCA: Horny Martha Stewart.

SAGAL: Yes, indeed.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: To improve their terrible test scores...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...an elementary school in Louisiana is going to blank.

ROCCA: They're going to move to another state.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Hello, Louisiana. They're going to import smarter kids from a different school.

ROCCA: Oh, OK. Well, that's smart. That's how math works.

SAGAL: Right. Merrydale Elementary has low test scores. Instead of bringing in new teachers, they decided to bring in smarter students.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Says new third grader and "Jeopardy" champion Ken Jennings: I love my new school, I just wish my desk was bigger.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, did Mo do well enough to win?

KASELL: He needed at least five correct answers. He had seven correct answers.

ROCCA: Oh, my god.

KASELL: So right now, Mo Rocca is this week's champion.

(SOUNDBITE OF CHEERING)

(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.