Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
11:00 am
Sat November 19, 2011

Limericks

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank, but first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait-Wait, that's 1-888-924-8924. Or click the contact us link on our website. That's waitwait.npr.org. You can find out about attending our weekly live shows back at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago, or you can check out the "How to do everything" podcast from the producers of WAIT WAIT. This week: how to learn to like hockey, if there's no NBA season.

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SAGAL: It can be done. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

STEVE MINCH: Hi, this is Steve Minch. I'm calling from Livingston, New Jersey.

SAGAL: Livingston, New Jersey.

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MINCH: Yes.

SAGAL: I grew up near there. I used to hang out at the Livingston Mall.

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MINCH: Why?

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SAGAL: Because there was nothing else to do, sir.

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SAGAL: I used to go to Spencer's Gifts and look at the blacklight posters. That was the highlight of my adolescence.

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MINCH: That I understand.

SAGAL: Sure. Well, welcome to the show, Steve. Carl Kasell right now is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks, you'll be a winner. Ready to go?

MINCH: I'm rocking and rolling.

SAGAL: Here he goes.

CARL KASELL, HOST:

What the bowels pandas set free, you can steep in hot water for me.

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KASELL: It's quite an expense, but it leaves me less tense when I'm sipping my panda-poo?

MINCH: Tea.

SAGAL: Tea, yes.

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SAGAL: It is now time to dash the hopes of those of you who hoped panda-poo tea wasn't what it sounded like.

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SAGAL: But no, it is made from panda poo. Its creator says it, quote, "has a mature, nutty taste and a very distinctive aroma while it's brewing." He says it is sure to be a favorite among tea drinkers, much like the more established tea that is made from the waste of Earl and Lady Gray.

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ADAM FELBER: I...

ROY BLOUNT: Pardon you.

FELBER: Doesn't it sound like the Chinese just play mad libs when they invent stuff?

SAGAL: They do.

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FELBER: Like animal name, body part, ailment. You know, this'll do.

SAGAL: This is real stuff, actually. Because apparently pandas don't digest most of their food, so there's a lot you can do with it...

FELBER: So make bamboo tea.

FAITH SALIE: Yeah, it probably tastes like bamboo.

BLOUNT: Probably.

SALIE: Bam-poo.

FELBER: Bam-poo.

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SAGAL: Faith, you try it, let me know.

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SAGAL: Here is your next limerick.

MINCH: Great.

KASELL: Some sounds are just way past ignoring and at bedtime a snuff sounds like roaring. To silence my night I hold my toy tight. My Robot-Bear keeps me from?

MINCH: Snoring.

SAGAL: Right, snoring.

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SAGAL: Thanks to researchers in Japan, there's finally a cure for chronic snoring. It is a giant ferocious robot bear that flips you over in your sleep.

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SAGAL: This is true. It has microphones. And once your snoring gets above a certain decibel level, it reaches over and goes whoomph.

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SAGAL: So the good news is, ladies, you never have to worry about your husband snoring again. The bad news is it's because a robot bear just tore him in half.

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SAGAL: Here...

FELBER: I sleep better now that the giant robot bear is next to my bed all night.

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FELBER: I just don't see how that works.

SAGAL: Good night, honey. Good night. Good night giant robot bear. Good night.

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FELBER: Yeah, the snoring is gone, but I'm constantly terrified.

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SAGAL: Here is your last limerick.

KASELL: When traffic feels like it entombs and I'm waiting until motion resumes, my windows I crack to help me relax, because I get a high off the?

MINCH: Fumes.

SAGAL: Right, yes.

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SAGAL: Good news, people. This is great, particularly for people who were worried about being stuck in traffic. According to scientists in Israel, all that carbon monoxide you inhale in traffic helps you relax.

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SAGAL: That's an interesting finding, sure, but we knew this all along. Carbon monoxide slowly suffocates you to death.

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SAGAL: And isn't death just another word for really, really, really, relaxed?

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SAGAL: Carl, how did Steve do?

KASELL: Three correct answers, Peter. So Steve, you win our prize.

SAGAL: Well done, Steve.

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FELBER: Well done.

MINCH: Thanks, Peter.

SAGAL: Thank you for playing. Take care. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright National Public Radio.