Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
4:25 pm
Fri May 18, 2012

Panel Round Two

Originally published on Sat May 19, 2012 2:22 pm

Transcript

CARL KASELL: From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR News quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. We're playing this week with Brian Babylon, Roxanne Roberts, and Charlie Pierce. And, here again is your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Carl.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: In just a minute, Carl takes a swig of his rhyme and coke in our Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-Wait-Wait. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, though, some more questions for you from the week's news.

Roxanne, on the official White House website, you can look up bios of all the past US Presidents. But last week, somebody cruising the site noticed something odd about many of those bios. What?

ROXANNE ROBERTS: Isn't President Obama somehow been inserted into almost all of the bios?

SAGAL: Yes, yes, indeed.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: President Obama shows up next to all of these bios. The official White House dot Gov biographies of almost every president since Calvin Coolidge now have references to President Obama in them.

You look up President Reagan, for example, and it says: Mr. Reagan called for a fairer tax code. Today, President Obama is calling for the same with the Buffett Rule, unquote. Or: Mr. Carter had been a peanut farmer before taking the Oval Office. Today, President Obama is nothing at all like President Carter. Seriously. Stop it, guys.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

BRIAN BABYLON: This is for real?

SAGAL: This is for real.

ROBERTS: Yeah.

SAGAL: It references Obama in every one except Gerald Ford for some reason. Some of them maybe go a little bit too far. For example, John F Kennedy was president from 1961 to 1963. Did you know President Obama once put on a tight white dress and sang Happy Birthday to him?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: How did they work the President into, say, President Washington?

SAGAL: You mean like the first president, Washington?

ROBERTS: Yes, yes.

SAGAL: As a young man, George Washington was approached by Barack Obama, who told him to tell his father about the cherry tree.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: And then he hopped back into a Delorean and he drove off.

SAGAL: Exactly.

BABYLON: Wow, that is banana town.

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SAGAL: It is, it's crazy. Did you know President Taft once ate President Obama?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Brian, optometrists have identified a new threat to our eyesight. It typically strikes young people and can leave them with a lazy eye. What is it?

BABYLON: Does it have to do with games they play?

SAGAL: No.

BABYLON: OK. All right, give me the hint then.

SAGAL: Well, it also causes you to sing Baby Baby Baby.

ROBERTS: Who's song is "Baby Baby Baby?

BABYLON: Justin Bieber.

SAGAL: Justin Bieber.

ROBERTS: OK, now picture him.

BABYLON: Beautiful young man.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Come backwards, Brian. Don't get lost.

BABYLON: I know. I know.

SAGAL: Don't get lost in a Bieber reverie, man.

CHARLIE PIERCE: Come back to the pack, my friend.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: All right, I'm here. I'm here. I'm here.

ROBERTS: Now...

BABYLON: Oh, bangs.

SAGAL: Yeah, basically Justin Bieber hair is the answer.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: See, this is how it works. You know how Justin Bieber has got that sort of side bang on his hair, right?

BABYLON: Yeah.

PIERCE: It's a little humid up here, Peter, wait a minute.

SAGAL: Well, kids are getting that. And the problem is that it makes you look adorable, we all know that.

BABYLON: Yeah.

SAGAL: But according to at least some optometrists, those side bangs might be giving kids a lazy eye.

BABYLON: Because they're like, oh man, I don't even care.

SAGAL: No, yeah, well...

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Yeah.

BABYLON: OK, got it.

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SAGAL: The point is like with your hair covering up one eye, you only use the other eye, one eye to glare moodily at your parents, right?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So, over time, the obscured eye just goes dormant and doesn't recover.

BABYLON: Hey, how about this, Pete? Everyone buy stock in monocles. Monocles are going to make a comeback.

SAGAL: That's true; they're going to come back.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: Yeah.

SAGAL: That could happen. What it really means, though, if this is true, if this optometrist who came up with this is right, that like fifty years from now, every senior citizen will be squinting at each other's backside saying "I can't make out your tramp stamp because of my Bieber eye."

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: Wow, Bieber eye.

SAGAL: Bieber eye. Bieber eye. Brian, it's finals time, and to help students cope with the high stress, more and more colleges and grad schools allow students to check out what from the library?

BABYLON: OK. All right, give me a half of a hint.

SAGAL: The problem is they may cause you more stress if they eat your homework.

BABYLON: Oh, puppies.

SAGAL: Yes, puppies.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

ROBERTS: That's so cute.

SAGAL: Yes.

BABYLON: Let me just say something, man.

SAGAL: Please, Brian.

ROBERTS: And don't be cynical, because it's like so cute.

BABYLON: I know. No, no, no. No, no, honestly, one thing, I always look forward to Super Bowl Sunday for the puppy bowl.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

BABYLON: I know. And these guys better not tweet that. I have a street cred problem, I'm trying to...

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Dude, you have a crush on Justin Bieber, you have no street cred.

BABYLON: I know.

PIERCE: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: Because he looks like a puppy, man, with them bangs, man.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Both Harvard Medical School and Yale Law School have dogs available for checkout from their library. This is true. Experts cite studies that show interacting with pets decreases stress. And also a number of studies indicate that puppies are adorable.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The idea of this is great, but the students are doing what students do. They're taking the puppies out of the library. They're going home. They're forgetting about them. And then like the night before they have to give the puppies they're like, "oh my god, I got to stay up all night and play with the puppy."

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Pull a puppy all-nighter.

ROBERTS: These are temporary checkouts. They come in like a bushel of adorableness. And then it's kisses, kisses, kisses, kisses, and then you have to go back and take your test.

BABYLON: It's like my parent's divorce all over again.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright National Public Radio.